No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
