so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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