He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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