Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
