I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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