i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
