You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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