So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
