dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
