Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
