I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
