She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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