When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
