My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
