We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My liver just had a heart attack.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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