She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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