Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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