He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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