And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
My bed smells like the plague
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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