your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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