I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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