Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
