Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
