My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
