im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
