Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
