omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
