Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
