I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
