Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
