She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He? As in you personified your dick?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
