escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
