dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Congratulations! We have a period
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
