I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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