youre lurking in front of me
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i was born a porn star she said
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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