And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
