Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I want to be your penis for a week.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
