Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
