if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
