The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
