wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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