I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
