I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize