she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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