Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
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