i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
