we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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