I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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