Sry I called you an 8
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
