No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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