This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
