I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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