i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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